GONNA PROVE THAT MOTHA EFFIN BITCH WRONG AND BE LIKE IN YO' BITCH
I AIN'T GONNA TOLERATE WITH YOUR EFFIN HATE NO MORE
FUHH WHY WONT YOU JUST SAY IT TO MY MOTHA EFFIN FACE YOU BITCH
IT'S BEEN FRESHMAN YEAR TILL NOW!
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DON'T TALK TO ME ANYMORE AND GET OUTTA MY FACE!
I don't care about what you think
fuhh THAT'S JUST WHO I AM!
You probabaly think I'm going to be useless in the future right?
WELL HELL NAWWW IM GOING TO MAKE THE BIGGEST CHANGE TO THE WORLD!
I'M GOING TO HELP THE WORLD AND HELP MANY PEOPLE!
I'M GOING TO BECOME SUCCESSSFUL AND LIVE A BETTER LIFE THAN YOU
I'M GOING TO PROVE YOU WRONG THAT I WILL BECOME THE BOSS OF THE WORLD.
not literally though (:
but I'm going to have a WAYY BETTER LIFE THAN YOU
because you know why? I don't hate on people by how slow they are or how their not up to "your" kind of level.
Seriously, I just want to delete you off everything that I have that has anything to deal with you because, this is highschool.
Why must you hate on people for how they are? Like dam... they can be annoying but, that's what makes them who they are.
Stop looking at the negative side of people, start looking at the positive
Stop noticing the flaws, notice the beauty.
Next thing you know.... you're going to end up with no friends. Like. seriously.

sometimes i just feel like i don't belong.
sometimes it just feels like you hate me.
sometimes it feels like i'm not wanted there.
sometimes i just wish things weren't like this.
sometimes i wish everyone was just one big close family group.
sometimes i wish there isn't much tension there.
sometimes i wish we were just like the senior's group.
sometimes i wish there wasn't so much just undescrible feeling.
sometimes i just really don't know what to do.
sometimes i wish some things didn't happen.
sometimes i wish i wasn't so quiet.
sometimes i wish i was more talkative.
sometimes i just wish i was smart.
sometimes i wish i wasn't so stupid and dumb.
sometimes there's just too many things in my mind.
sometimes i get so frustrated at my parents and take out everything on them.
sometimes i wish i wasn't like this.
sometimes you just have to put everything aside and have a BIG smile on your face so that everything will seem alright. (:
sometimes you just have to deal with it and try to fix it.
sometimes you just need to take a break from everything and go to that escape the world place where no one will bother you.
sometimes you should pretend you don't know who you are and just forget about everything and be a stranger just for the heck of it. (;
sometimes you just have to face everything with a high self esteem.
sometimes you just have to don't give a crap and let them think whatever you want.
sometimes you just shouldn't give a shit about other people if they treat you like shit.
sometimes you just make me feel like a loser.
sometimes you just lower my self esteem.
sometimes i just really don't know if i wanna stay here.
sometimes i just want to go to another place and get out of here.
sometimes i just wish everything would be fine.
sometimes i just wish i can leave and no one would mind.
sometimes UGHHH IDK!
im just so in a bad mood right now and im scared about my grades.
im scared that i wont be able to meet my parents needs.
im just scared i would disappoint them again.
im just scared of everythnig right now.
i just love to worry about everything.
i wish i didn't care much about everything and just went on with my life.
i wish i wasn't so caring.
should i keep my old life or have a new life?
i. don't. know.
i guess i just want at least a close guy friend or group that was close so that high school can be memorable. no relationships or anything. just a group of friends that are close and no one will feel left out. because right now it feels like that. and i guess i just want the close bond with people because, when college i want to at least have those memories of high school that was fun and tell it to my children or something. idk i just want high school to be something to cherish (: because i've been told these 4 years would be the most memorable times of your life! :) so i just hope that this will happen. ALRITE I REALLY HAVE TO STUDY AND DO MY PROJECT! -__-
no more talking serena!

LOL so this happened on friday
which just HELLA.
PISSES.
THE.
FUCK.
OUT. OF ME.
LIKE SERIOUSLY!?
aite heres what happen:
so on friday HE came to school... to visit and all!
so like he says hi to janice and lorena and then
i shouted out HI! & he just
totally .
fucking.
ignored me -___-
& just walked away w/ his friends!
like SERIOUSLY!? first at the theaters when i shouted BIE like TWO. FUCKING. TIMES.
he just ignored that too...
didn't even look back. didn't even say a word.
I really dont get it DID I DO SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU IGNOREME?!
two times already? wow. embrassed me in front of my friends. Your just acting like a total jerk now that I don't even know you anymore -_-.
wait acutally i don't know you anymore because, YOU changed. Even when I don't talk to you I can tell like you became this total jerk. Even Alex ssays you seem different. And all those promises you made to me HA all bullshit -_-. I shouldn't even care but idk i guess a part of me wish you were still in my life like a friend. Not some dam stranger who totally ignores me. UGH
and then so I thought he left so i was like talking to lorena saying like "HOW COME ITS SO HARD TO SAY HI & BYE "& ALL THESE OTHER STUFF & lorena likes dude he's right there. & i was like shouting that out cus i was soo pissed. -__- & i was like in my mind" OMFG. " wow i felt so stupid afterwards cus he passed by me and i didn't even know -__- well not like RIGHT next to me but enough to hear me. I was too scared to turn around & i just felt really stupid afterwards because i didn't want him to hear that. =/ sigh. Idk and then like I walk to the track field and he's there too! & im like DAMMIT why is he everywhere! ); So i turned around and walked the other way he might have saw me toos. & then later on in the day its like 4:40 & i was sitting on a bench by myself near the track field because i like it because it's quiet. (: & then RIGHT WHEN IM ABOUT TO LEAVE! I STAND UP THEN BAM HE'S RIGHT THERE! & im like WOW! but not close like where the gym is. & i just turned around and walked away. He proabably thinks i was stalkin him now -__- but yeah. Its such a concidence how he comes out RIGHT when i had to leave. its like WHY CANT YOU COME OUT AFTER I LEFT!? -__- like wait a dam minute! but yeah it just frustrates me so much! Because after all it would be nice for you to at least say hi or bye no need to talk or no shit. HOW HARD IS THAT?!
IDK BUT
YOUR BEING A FUCKING JERK RIGHT NOW.
& im not gonna say nomore dam thing to you no more -__-
but it would be hard to erase you but i don't evenwanna talk to you no more!
After that i really wanted to just start bitchin at you. cus its not like IM the one who broke up w/ you cus if i did i would get you wouldnt wanna talk but YOU were teh one who broke up w/ me AND said we can still be friends. but now you just turned us into fucking strangers. that i don't even wanan deal with you no more.
SO FROM HEAR ON OUT i dont want you in my life. I DONT want anything that has to deal with you. You don't give a fuck about me then SHOOTS I DONT GIVE A HELLADAM SHIT ABOUT YOU!
after everything we went through,
you just tossed it all away and pretended we never knew each other.
well then ill just do the same ass thing.
even though you have been in my dream these past few days
I WILL START THINKING ABOUT SCOTT YOSHIMOTO BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP!
so i can dream about him!<3 (: i dont even think about you before i sleep anymore but yet SITLL you manage to get in my dream and ruin it.
Funny how in the dream you turned into a bad person that did bad things.
So i guess its a sign you did change but not into a bad person who did bad things
but into someone who has no feelings.
idk whatever. maybe it was good for you to hear that so you can see that your really being a jerk even though its AWKWARD FOR YOU the best you can do is say hi or bie.

i feel better now! (: so from here on out i will try my best to not care about whats hapepenign in your life or ANYTHING! because what you did really did hurt me alot. It hurted even more that you dont even say hi or bie no more :/ Oh wells. It is what it is... ha i shouldnt even felt stupid whne i said that because you should be the one feeling like a jerk. Your the one who said you didnt mean to hurt me. well GUESS WHAT you did it again -__- TWO FUCKING TIMES.

alwrite! i really gotta get focus! ive been really slackin off these days -___- and not studying for my test & stuff!
aiyah!
wells today was silly willy wesenday where you dress all whacky.
BUTT! i wasnt in the mood to :P & to be honest i'm not really in the mood to go to sadies anymore. I don't feel the excitement of going anymore. =/ i guess cus' it brings back memories... & i know it will... BUTT i ain't gonna let that ruin my day! HELL NAWW! like i said i needa move on! but it will take a long time for me to but its okay im still trying! ahaha hopefully the dance doesn't go that bad! D; & i wouldn't mind dancing crazy w/ alex LOL! & other girls (: TEEHEEE! wells what im really excited for is
MUSIC FOR LIFE BENEFIT CONCERT! i cantt waitt!<3 2 more days! :D WOOHOOo!
this shall be a good weekendd! ;)

& cashee was okay only word problems were hard :/ i guessed on them >< ! cus my weakness is that! LOL back to studying for benchmark tomorrow EEKK!

last night, at 4:04 am an 4.4 earthquake happened! i was just lying in bed dreaming then all of the sudden, my bed starts swaying back and forth and i was thinkin to myself WTH IS THAT LOUD RUMBLE NOISE! i thought it was like a lion or something CLEARLY i was not thinking at all then all of a sudden my mom screams EARTHQUYAKEEE! thats when i hopped outa my bed and RAN OUT THE DOOR! we were at the front door when it stopped and i was literally scared to death -___- i started to tear up that my eyes got all red and i was SHAKINGGG ); for like 5 minutes then i stopped my mom hugged me :/ & i was just soo tearrifeied i couldnt go back to sleep! i laid in bed thinking about the big one getting so paranoid and having a feeling their might be an aftershock so i layed in bed thinking about the WORST things ever not being able to see some of my friends ever again and just the fear of everything that will happen. like losing the ones you love i spent my night thinking about that so terrfied with the anxiety feeling it will happen soon ); it already happened in 4 places and i KNOW the next one will be here! and this big one can cost many lives but hey we live in CALIFORNIA & thats what california is known for my aunt was like we need to move back to vietnam! i dont wanna stay here and my dad was like what do you expect this is california! funny how my dad is so brave (: he wasnt even a tad bit scared when me and my mom were terrified xD but this earthquake has really got me thinking that i really need to live life to the fullest and have happy days because you nevfer know what might happen in the future :/ & never get to experience the things you wanna do before you die? i really dont want to think about these things so i just want to live with a smile everyday (: or at least try to even though it may be a bad day i just have to have the courage to just put a smile on my face and just think of it as something you have to go through life a rollercoaster & in the end itll be just fine cus everything takes time to become fine again x) and it was sooo scary when i thought about what will happen if i didnt have my parents and i know i shouldnt be thinking about all these negative things but what if the big one does come? iwouldnt know what to do ill feel lonely and helpless i dont know but as of right now
I WANT TO LIVE LIFE AND NOT GIVE A DAMM THING ABOUT THE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEEN! (: